The college application process has changed dramatically over the past 30 years, so regardless of whether you went to college yourself, you are likely to experience a learning curve when it’s time to help your own children with this transition. Here are three tips for making the most of the experience.

• Stay positive. Encourage your child to own the process and to embrace the opportunity for self-discovery and for developing skills needed for success in college and beyond. It’s as much about helping them grow as it is about finding the right school. Tell them that this is one time when it really is “all about them.” If you stay positive and model resilient behavior, your child will follow your lead and enjoy the journey.

• Resist the urge to make every conversation about college. High school students, especially fall-semester seniors, grow very weary of having to talk about college all of the time. They will tune you out if you bring it into every conversation. Some families find it useful to designate a particular time each week to discuss the logistics of the process and what deadlines are coming up. Find a scenario that enables you to encourage and supervise your child without letting it become all-consuming for your family.

• Stay in your lane. The number one goal of the college search is for your child to find the school that is the right fit for them. Seek advice when needed from counselors, teachers, and experts and don’t get caught up in what everyone else is doing and saying. Likewise, encourage your child not to get caught up comparing himself to others and to worry that every quiz, test, and paper is going to make or break him. Take care of what you can control and let the rest go.

Believe it or not, your child is paying attention to you. If you approach the process as an opportunity and keep a healthy perspective, he will too. Do your best to keep calm and enjoy the ride.